Chazz Princeton: Duel Monsters Spirit Ambassador
by Fortune Maiden
Summary: Chazz Princeton's life would be much simpler if all of these annoying duel spirits would stop dragging him into their problems. He keeps helping out anyway. [Drabble Series]
1. The Lost Card

**The Lost Card**

 _A spirit disrupts Chazz's focus in class with its crying so Chazz resolves to find it and return it to its owner. Because he actually cares about his education._

* * *

"I'm over here! Look at me!"

The spirit's crying is loud enough to completely drown out Dr. Crowler's preening, an impressive feat considering his is the one class that even Jaden can't sleep through entirely due to how passionate Crowler can get.

Chazz can't completely tune the cries out no matter how long they goes on though, and spends most of the day craning his neck trying to locate the source of the wail. By the time the last bell rings, his neck is stiff and he can barely lift his forehead off the desk. He finds himself with a newfound respect for new parents, and shudders at the thought of having to deal with this one day.

From the way the crying continues even after the other students file out, he determines the persistent duel spirit is stuck in the room, though upon realizing its owner has left, its pleading quiets into a whimper before fading away completely.

Chazz basks in the silence for a few moments before it's broken again by Ojama Yellow's shrilly telling him that classes are done for the day and he's hungry. He doesn't eat, but Chazz doesn't care enough to point that out.

Ojama Yellow's voice does rouse him to his feet though, and he quickly checks to make sure the room is really empty and the door is closed before cupping his hands around his mouth like a megaphone and shouting,

"Hey Crybaby! If you can hear me, show yourself!"

To his annoyance, nothing happens.

"Great," he scowls.

"What's wrong, Boss?"

"What's wrong? Didn't you hear that crying before?"

"Oh that, some card must have fallen somewhere," Ojama Yellow says with an uncaring shrug. "But I guess it's gone now."

"No, it's still here, I can tell." The crying continued for some time even after Chazz was alone in the room, so the card has to be here too. He wasn't able to pinpoint it before though, so he'll have to be thorough in his search.

He scans the room and picks out three desks roughly in the center of each third of the classroom. On each one he leaves an Ojama card, before moving to the front of the room.

"Alright, you three. Make yourselves useful for once and help look. There's a duel monsters card in here somewhere, and we're going to find it."

Ojama Black and Ojama Green emerge from their cards, unsure of what's happening.

"We're doing what now?" Ojama Black asks.

"Hey Yellow, is the Boss okay?" Ojama Green looks at their youngest brother.

"He must be really worried about that card," Yellow says.

"I can hear you clowns. And I'm not worried, I'm annoyed," Chazz snaps. "That stupid thing wouldn't shut up all day and I couldn't pay attention in class as a result. Some of us actually care about our education!"

"Er, if you say so, Boss," Ojama Green says through stifled laughter.

"It wasn't really that loud though, was it?" Ojama Black remarks.

"I think someone's just too shy to admit his true feelings." Ojama Yellow does, of course, know Chazz best.

"Less talking, more looking," Chazz snaps at them again.

To their credit, they do look though. They float around the nearby desks and chairs, as far as they're able to. Chazz has never been able to fully establish how far from their cards they can wander, but it seems to cover a decent enough radius, so he refrains from moving them until he's made his way up to their rows. No luck so far, and he's especially annoyed that the duel spirit won't appear for him. Unlike its owner, he'd actually be able to listen to its directions.

The Ojamas also get tired of looking and continue to insist that the card isn't here anymore. They're sure because they don't sense anything, but they're stupid so Chazz ignores them. He also ignores the growing pangs of hunger in his stomach because if he leaves now, he doubts he will come back afterwards, and he doesn't want to put this off another day. He _knows_ the card is here.

And he's right. In the second to last seat of the third row from the top of the Obelisk Blue section, he finally finds the facedown card wedged in under the desk, only a corner barely sticking out. It's stuck in there good, but he manages to slide it out, hopefully not scratching the image too badly in the process.

"Huh, a Silent Swordsman LV 3? Not a bad card," he notes. "Maybe I should keep it."

"Nooooo!" The shrill voice that plagued his day cries out, and the little Silent Swordsman jumps out of its card, arms flailing wildly. "You can't!"

"Oh now you want to talk?" Chazz snaps at it. "Where were you a forty minutes ago when I was calling out to you?"

"I-I don't know who you are," it cries. "But you're not my owner. Where's my owner?"

"Probably stuffing his face in at the cafeteria," Chazz answers, perhaps a little too harshly. "I wonder if he even knows you're gone."

Which is exactly the wrong thing to say to this crybaby spirit, because it immediately bursts into tears and demands to be returned to its owner asap.

"Alright, alright shut up already. I'll give you back when I see him tomorrow."

"No! I want to go back now!"

"Well, tough. I'm a Slifer. I'm not allowed in the Blue dorm."

"But, but I was waiting for him to notice me all day, but all that happened was he ended up sliding me under the desk. My artwork got scratched."

"And you really want to go back to such a guy?"

"He's my owner! And he needs me to summon Silent Swordsman LV 5!"

"No. No, he doesn't." Chazz uses LV cards himself, so he knows only the highest level monsters actually need their predecessors to get onto the field. But this is news to the idiotic spirit and a fresh stream of tears immediately gush forth.

"Boss, I think you're making things worse," Ojama Yellow scolds, but his giggle reveals his amusement at the whole affair.

"Yeah, not all spirits are thick-skinned like us," Ojama Green adds. "You gotta Chazz it down for the little ones."

"Hey, I'm not thick-skinned! I'm just big boned," Ojama Black snaps. "But, yeah, maybe you could try being a little nicer to the kid. The waterworks _are_ kinda annoying."

"Yes. I know," Chazz says through gritted teeth, before turning back to the bawling Silent Swordsman. Who even came up with that card's name anyway? "Alright, enough already. Sure you're not _needed_ in the deck to get Silent Swordsman LV 5 out, but you do make it easier, so there. You have a purpose."

The crying continues and Chazz is eternally grateful that no one else can see or hear this because the last thing he needs right now is for someone to walk in and accuse him of bullying a duel monsters equivalent of a child. Of course, if other people (who didn't obliviously sleep through every class) could see and hear duel spirits, Chazz wouldn't be in this mess.

Chazz pinches the bridge of his nose. He's not good with children. He's not good with tears either. He leans against the desk thoughtfully. Obelisk Blue, huh? It's not too far from the school building. And he does know the layout of the dorm well enough to sneak in, drop off the card, and get out without much fuss.

Chazz sighs.

At least he wouldn't need to sneak into the Obelisk Blue _women's_ dorm.

"Alright," Chazz says. "What's the bastard's name and room number?"

* * *

To Chazz's relief, he is able to slip into the dorm and avoid meeting anyone on his way to the careless student's room. And to make it even better, the guy is in his room (because the spirit spent enough time on the floor today and refused to be slid through the door and hope for the best).

As soon as the door opens, the student can only manage a bewildered, "Chazz?" before Chazz shoves the card into his hands.

"You dropped this in class. You're welcome."

He looks at the card. "My Silent Swordsman?" He takes his deck out of the case on his belt and looks through it. "Woah, you're right! It is mine. Thanks a lot, man! Where'd you find it?"

"Under your desk. Don't tell anyone you saw me here, and we're even," Chazz says hastily. He can hear footsteps in the halls, and he really just wants to get back to his own dorm already.

But the student isn't as stupid as his card, and something clicks in his mind.

"Wait, my desk isn't anywhere near yours. Or the door. And how'd you even know I use the Silent Swordsman cards?"

 _"Your card told me_ " is not an appropriate response.

"Cause I've seen you duel," Chazz says instead, looking elsewhere. "And I always remember the good duelists." Thankfully, this student is an Obelisk, and nothing makes them more agreeable than stroking their egos a little.

"Aw, thanks Chazz," he grins. Then something else clicks. "But you know, you could've just returned this to me in class tomorrow. You didn't have to sneak into the dorm."

 _"Tell that to the loudmouthed card"_ is also not an appropriate response.

"Well, you know…you're a duelist!" Chazz snaps, eye twitching. "Your card was missing for an entire day and you didn't even notice! What if someone challenged you? And you'd have been one card short? And unable to Special Summon Silent Swordsman LV 5? Then where would you be? Now apologize to the card!"

"I-I'm sorry!" The student is so stunned that he stammers out an apology automatically. The little Silent Swordsman peeks out and looks like it's about to bawl from joy. Chazz does not want to stick around for that.

"Yeah well, all's well that ends well, so bye." Chazz turns to leave. "And remember, you didn't see me."

"Yeah, yeah," the student says. "But finding a stranger's card and sneaking into their dorm just to return it to them as the first opportunity. You're really just a nice guy, aren't you Chazz?"

"The nicest!" The little Silent Swordsman agrees happily.

"No, I'm not," Chazz insists, and hurries off before the either the student or the spirit can see how red his ears are.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading :)

I've had an idea to write a drabble series like this for a while now. Some of my favorite GX episodes include the Dark Scorpions ep & the Chazz vs. Slade because I really like the focus on Chazz and his duel spirits (not only the Ojamas, the whole collection...where did the rest of 'em go in Season 2 anyway?) and I was kinda sad not to find too many Chazz & Ojamas fics. I feel like between Yubel & Honest, GX gave a lot of focus to the darker side of duel spirits but these drabbles will be centered on more mundane, occasionally silly things. Because it's Chazz and he's the show's biggest butt monkey. He's not allowed to have a peaceful life.

Also I am using dub names for this because even though I've seen enough of the sub to be comfortable with writing both verses, my main exposure to this show was the dub and I tend to hear the characters' dub voices and mannerisms when writing. If people reading this would prefer Japanese names though, I can probably switch over  
(or I may end up doing so anyway because I never watched S3-4 dubbed ^^")


	2. The Well

**The Well**

 _Once in a while, Chazz goes out to the old well…_

* * *

The rope ladder is still there from his first visit, exactly as he'd left it. Chazz quickly climbs down and turns on his flashlight, illuminating the dark damp caves.

They're no different from his first visit though considerably emptier since he always makes sure to strip them clean every time he drops in. He's sure he knows his way around by now like he knows the back of his hand or the contents of his decks, but he still pulls out his makeshift map and shines the light on it. It's not enough to just search near the entrance anymore. Not when he knows how vast this underground network of caves is and where they lead. He has to check everywhere.

He carries on in silence for a while, until Ojama Yellow decides to pop out from the card in his pocket and give his two cents.

"Well, here we are again," he remarks. "Find anyone?"

"Not yet," Chazz replies and continues walking around. "You look too." Ojama Yellow is the only spirit with him right now; the other two always refuse to come along so Chazz leaves them on his desk, not interested in arguing. It's better this way—their yammering would drive him nuts—but it also means he only has Ojama Yellow to check any little crevices. Not that the irritant is ever particularly keen on doing that anyway.

"Last couple of times turned up empty," Ojama Yellow remarks. "Maybe no one uses this place anymore."

"Doubtful since the time before that, we did find cards," Chazz replies. Three of them even. All spell cards, none of them particularly great. He'd dried them off and added them to his card album. The time before that yielded a monster card. Also not great, but none of the cards in the Reject Well ever were. That monster card ended up befriending one of the Dark Scorpions if Chazz recalled correctly.

"Still Boss, I never thought I'd live to see this," Ojama Yellow remarks. "You coming out here once a month to rescue all of the forgotten thrown away cards."

"I'm not _rescuing_ them," Chazz snaps. "This is just a way to get free cards."

"Cards you never ever use," Ojama Yellow points out gleefully.

"I use them." Not in his any of his main decks, but on occasion, when he gets bored and wants some sort of challenge. Overpowering an opponent with high-level monsters is always fun, but crushing them with cards once thrown out for being weak and useless has its own satisfaction to it. It's always nice to be able to prove his superiority and ability to win using any card.

He goes through the caves some more, noting his route along the map until the he gets back to the entrance, still empty handed.

He frowns as his flashlight catches a flash of orange, an effect monster he's _sure_ wasn't there earlier.

"Did someone came by while we were inside?" Ojama Yellow asks as Chazz picks up the card. Skelengel, he notes and rolls his eyes. Whoever threw this one out really needed a lesson in decent flip effects.

"Looks like it," Chazz says and pockets the card. No duel spirit pops out, but they don't always appear right away. From what Chazz has gathered, they're always there, but only reveal themselves to those they've built some sort of rapport with. Or if they're among other spirits, so Chazz expects this one to show up when the other residents of the card album give it the usual initiation. He's gone through this enough times for the freeloaders to _have_ a usual initiation.

He gives the area another sweep with the flashlight, in case there were other cards thrown out alongside this one.

There aren't.

"The nerve of some people!" Ojama Yellow yells. "Boss, why don't you just seal this awful place up for good?"

"I'll think about it." He says to avoid further discussion, but in truth, he has considered it and immediately decided against it. As much as he doesn't like this place, it's better for him to keep the rumors about the Reject Well going and for idiots to keep choosing it as their dumping ground for unwanted cards. Because Chazz knows sealing it won't stop people from getting rid of their cards, and at least if they throw them down the well, he'll find them later.

"We're done here," Chazz says and shuts off the flashlight before beginning his ascent. His eyes protest at the light as he emerges, and as he waits for them to readjust to being aboveground, his absent gaze lingers on the well.

"I really don't get it though." Ojama Yellow floats in front of him. "Why do you keep coming here?"

 _I ask myself that every month,_ Chazz thinks. There's no _reason_ for him to secretly come out here, and he knows himself well enough to be confident that he hasn't turned into some kind of sentimental loser who _feels bad_ for some colorful pieces of cardstock. But checking up on the Reject Well has become something of a ritual for him at this point, and he starts to feel anxious and irritable if he intentionally stays away.

But this isn't something he's about to admit to his pesky duel spirit so he simply scoffs and says, "How many more times do I have to tell you? Free cards."

* * *

 **A/N:** A huge thank to everyone who read the last chapter! I hope you liked it!

It's a short piece this time, but I just really like the idea of Chazz checking up on the well every now and then


	3. The Fight

**The Fight**

 _Chazz gets into a fight with a student who ripped up his card. Not Chazz's card. His own._

* * *

"Hold still," Alexis says sharply, and presses an antiseptic-soaked cotton ball to the red gash under his eye. Chazz cringes at the contact, but bears with it as she carefully but unflinchingly cleans the injury, before applying a white plaster over it. He hasn't seen how he looks yet, but he's sure his eye will bruise.

Alexis moves on to the cuts on his hands, her expression blank, but concern still evident in her eyes. He has seen his hands and grimaces at the angry bloody bruises across his knuckles.

"Don't worry," Alexis assures him. "It's not as bad as it looks." By which she means he's lucky he didn't break any bones while throwing his punches.

"Heh. This is nothing," Chazz scoffs, his voice nasally from the bloodstained tissues in his nostrils. "You should have seen the other guy."

"I _did_ see the other guy," Alexis snaps. "Miss Fontaine is treating him in the other room." Which was one of the reasons she had offered to take a look at Chazz, the other reason being to calm him down and figure out what happened. "Honestly, Chazz, getting into a fist fight with another student? This isn't like you."

"He ripped a card," Chazz says in a half-mumble, as if he himself still isn't too sure what happened and can't believe his reasoning.

"One of your cards?" Alexis asks.

"…No," Chazz hesitates. "It was his."

Alexis frowns, not sure of how to respond to that. She hadn't seen what happened, only rushed to the site of the commotion when she overheard someone yell that Chazz was getting beat up by an Obelisk Blue student over some card. Which wasn't entirely true as it had taken her and Atticus to pull Chazz off of the other guy as the teachers arrived, and she was just grateful that Chazz quickly came to his senses at the sound of her voice.

"So…he ripped up one of his own cards and you punched him?" Alexis asks, just to make sure she understood that correctly. Chazz frown deepens, which tells her she did. "Er, well, I guess it's pretty gross to rip up a card because it isn't that good, but to get into a fight over _that_? You know Chazz, I vaguely recall you attempting to destroy someone else's cards once." It's a low blow and it wasn't a proud moment in his life, but in Chazz's weak defense, those cards survived. They'd just needed to dry off.

She finishes bandaging his hand, and leans down so she can look up at him with her big brown eyes. "Hey, come on Chazz, talk to me. What's wrong?" Alexis knows there's more to the story than a simple ripped up card, especially with how visibly upset Chazz still is, but to her disappointment, he refuses to meet her eyes and just looks away.

"Alright," Alexis sighs and stands up. She doesn't want to press if he's not willing to talk about it. "I've treated your wounds as best as I could. You should wait here for Miss Fontaine to take a look."

"Thanks," Chazz mutters.

Alexis isn't sure she should leave yet though and adds, "Atticus went to talk to the teachers earlier. He said he may be able to get you off with just an apology letter and a detention or two."

"Atticus did?" Chazz blinks up in surprise. Neither of them is entirely sure how exactly Atticus plans to do that, but Chazz is surprised that he would even bother stepping in for him. Chazz _is_ entirely to blame for this incident.

Alexis agrees. "Personally, I think you deserve whatever punishment is coming since you did instigate this," she doesn't mince her words, which are entirely reasonable in Chazz's ears, but sting more than the antiseptic did. "But I'd like to think you had some reason for it and it would be stupid for you to ruin your academic record just like that."

"Y-yeah…" Chazz says quietly. "What about the other guy?"

"What about him?"

"Is he going to get punished?"

"For ripping up his own card and defending himself?" Alexis raises a brow. "I don't think so."

"Tch." Chazz should have expected that. It'd be pretty unfair for the school to punish the visible victim no matter how much the bastard deserved it.

Alexis observes this change in demeanor and sighs sadly. "I think I'm going to leave you to cool off a bit," she says, but before she's out the door, she stops, remembering something important. "Oh yeah, about that card..." Alexis reaches into her skirt pocket and pulls out the two tattered halves of what was once a Dancing Elf. Someone handed it to her when she'd arrived at the scene and demanded to know what was happening, but between pulling Chazz off and keeping him off afterwards, she'd forgotten that she kept it. It would probably be better to return it to its owner or hand it off to one of the teachers, but with how desperately Chazz watches it, she decides to place it on the table in front of him. He doesn't reach for it.

"If you want to talk later, I'll listen," Alexis says and leaves.

It's only after he can't hear her retreating footsteps anymore that Chazz finally snatches the two pieces and holds them together as if willing the card to fix itself. Ojama Yellow materializes in the corners of his vision, still sniffling.

"The poor thing," he cries. "It never stood a chance."

"Yeah," Chazz agrees with narrowed eyes. A one-star normal monster with pathetic attack and pathetic defense. Certainly not a card the average duelist would keep in his deck. But if the guy didn't want it that badly he should have just traded it away or tossed it in the Reject Well. Anything was better than tearing it up like that.

"Hey Boss, we can fix it, right?" Ojama Yellow asks. "Some tape and it'll be good as new, right?"

Chazz doesn't answer. The duel disk wouldn't read it over the tape so it would only be playable (if anyone even wanted to play it) in an informal tabletop duel. But that isn't what Ojama Yellow is asking and Chazz doesn't know that answer and doesn't think he wants to find out.

It had been Ojama Yellow's fault that he'd even gotten into that stupid fight. If he hadn't cried out, Chazz would never even have looked that student's way. From a normal person's perspective, he was completely unreasonably and gotten into a fist fight over something incredibly stupid. Even Alexis, for all of her genuine concern, thought ill of him.

But all Chazz sees as he looks at the torn card is that duel spirit writhing in pain before fading away.

* * *

 **AN:** Thanks for reading!

Next week will be a funny one! I promise!


	4. Seating Arrangements

**Seating Arrangements**

 _Chazz buys a card album._

 _Worst. Purchase. Ever._

* * *

Chazz did not consider himself a compulsive shopper. Like any young man from an affluent wealthy family, he liked to spend big on things he usually did not need, but he could not claim to ever have experienced any sort of buyer's regret over the useless trinkets gathering dust in storage somewhere.

And then he'd picked up that sleek black card album with the little metal lightning bolt clasp off the clearance rack in Dorothy's shop—an item bought for a very specific purpose mind—and it left him questioning his life choices harder than that time he'd sunk a family yacht in the freezing waters off the coast of North Academy.

He bought it because he liked the design. Black with a lightning bolt, it was practically made for him! He bought it because it would be useful. He had a lot of cards, most of which were bundled into decks and kept in brand name (real) leather deck boxes, but plenty more that were just there and had no real place among his duel decks.

He bought it for those rejects from the well who lived inside a dusty shoebox in his desk drawer, because he thought it would be good for them to have a proper album to dwell in.

He thought wrong.

Now he thinks he should just hurry up and stuff them all inside and then unceremoniously dump the album into the well. And seal off the entrance. For good measure.

"From the top then." Chazz rubs his temples with a heavy sigh, and reads through the chicken-scratched notepad. "The normal monsters and the effect monsters should be separate."

"Yes!" The effect monsters in one corner of the room shout.

"And the 4-star monsters want their own page."

"Unlike those scrubs, we can still be useful in a deck!" Someone from the 4-star delegation preens.

"Shut up. The first page should be reserved for those of you who were in my deck when I dueled Slade."

"You wouldn't even be here right now if not for us!" someone in that delegation boasts.

"And you wouldn't be here if not for me so you shut up too," Chazz retorts. The spirit that spoke up murmurs an apology, but it's clear that it and the rest of the monsters in its group felt a distinct sense of superiority to everyone else.

"The Dark Scorpions should be together," Chazz reads on.

"You know it, Kiddo," Don Zaloog says with a grin.

"Don't call me 'Kiddo'. Spirit of the Breeze and The Unhappy Maiden want to be next to each other."

"Yes, please," Spirit of the Breeze chirps.

"I think I'll be a little less unhappy if you allow that." The Unhappy Maiden has the faintest trace of a smile when she says that.

"Good for you. Soul Tiger and Skull Servant, you guys wanted to be back to back, right?" Chazz doesn't get that one, but they agree so he reads on.

"And Catnipped Kitty doesn't want to be anywhere near Outstanding Dog Marron." That one makes a little more sense but it's still annoying. He lists off a few more of the specific requests as the spirits around him agree or object, but there are very few objections now compared to earlier, when the words on the notepad still resembled human writing.

Still, Chazz writes down the remaining requests, and studies the resulting diagram carefully. The album is open in front of him, still empty, and the stacks of cards organized and reorganized endlessly sit around it.

"Okay, I got it!" Chazz declares and begins sliding the cards into the sleeves as the duel spirits crowd around him, watching eagerly.

There are a lot of cards so it takes a while to get them all in there, but once they're all nicely organized, Chazz leans back in his chair and crosses his arms behind his head, smiling smugly.

"Well, what do you think?"

The duel spirits exchanges glances with one another before unanimously shouting,

"Unacceptable!"

The volume startles Chazz enough for him to kick back his chair. It's too close to the bed to fall over completely, but once it hits the mattress, the rebound causes Chazz to fall off on the side. He swears as a faint jolt of pain runs through his body.

"What is it _now_?" he hisses.

The spirits all begin to talk at once.

"There's a 3-Star behind me!"

"Get those effect monsters off our page!"

"I should be next to Don Zaloog!"

"I don't like my neighbors."

"I said no corners!"

"The stupid dog is too close!"

"I was in the 0 Attack deck too, yaknow."

"Can I be on a front page instead? I don't like being on the reverse side."

The complaints keep on coming as Chazz listens in stunned silence at first, before his temper finally catches up to him.

"Are you rejects kidding me right now? We just spent 3 hours debating this!" he yells. "I listened to every single one of your demands."

"You didn't listen well enough," Meanae the Thorn snaps back in a snooty voice. A chorus of voices agrees with her.

"Totally unacceptable."

"Doesn't understand a thing."

"Doesn't care at all."

"Waste of our time."

As the insulting comments continue, Chazz finds his rage cooling down. It would be too easy to rise to the bait and continue the argument. That was how it stretched out to three hours to begin with.

Furthermore, the walls of the Slifer dorm are thin, and Chazz doesn't need any more bewildered classmates checking up on him because of the (from their perspectives) one-sided yelling.

So instead, he quietly picks himself up, dusts off his jacket, straightens the chair, sits down, and slowly and wordlessly begins to remove every single card from the album, one by one.

The spirits take this chance to begin reminding them of their seating preferences, but quickly quiet down upon realizing that's he isn't listening at all and watch as he simply continues to take out the cards and neatly stack them.

The heating in the Slifer dorm has never been particularly good, but now the room is absolutely frigid; even the spirits can feel it. But the silence drags on until Chazz finally takes the last card out of the album and calmly sets it down.

Then it is broken at once by the sound of him slamming his palm against the table with all of his strength. The stacks fall over, several cards are sent to the floor and the spirits jump back.

"Okay, this is how it's going to work," Chazz's voice is still calm despite the force of his slap and the reverberating sting in his palm. "I don't _care_ about your level hierarchies. I don't _care_ about your stupid cliques. I don't care who's an effect monster, or a normal monster, or was in my deck when I dueled Slade, or whatever. All of you bastards are forgetting one very important thing.

"You're _rejects._ You're vendor trash that was thrown out because no one wants weak pathetic cards, and you were sentenced to rot in that stupid hole in the ground, where, by all means, you should still be, except The Chazz came along and fished you out.

"And you were all oh-so-content sharing a dusty old shoebox, but as soon as I buy you an album and decide to actually treat you like cards should be treated, suddenly it's all rank and status and "Oooh I want to be next to this card, not that card". Well, you know what? Fine."

Chazz takes the empty shoebox out of the drawer and throws it on the table. "You have two options. Either accept my generosity and go into the book _without another word,_ or you can go bye-bye back to the shoebox. Oh, but this time, the shoebox goes under the bed and does not come back out."

He gives them a moment for the words to sink in, then sits back down with his arms crossed and his eyes blazing. "Make your choice."

The spirits shrink back and eye each other pleadingly, begging for someone to speak. But no one wants to say the wrong thing and get banished under the bed. It smells bad and Chazz isn't particularly diligent about cleaning his room. Who knew what was down there!

"I'm waiting," Chazz prompts, impatiently tapping his foot.

There are several more pleading whimpers and shrinking back, but then Don Zaloog, ever the leader, finally steps forward.

"I guess we _did_ go a little far…" he says sheepishly. His words spur a few others forward as well.

"Y-yeah," a Goblin Calligrapher agrees.

"W-who even cares about seating arrangements these days?" one Petit Angel shouts.

"Yeah, when we materialize, we can see whoever we want anyway!" another one points out. Now more confident, the other spirits begin to speak up.

"We should be grateful the Boss loves us enough to even get us an album!"

"Yeah, he's not the type who'd let us gather dust in a box."

"Or a dark old well!"

"Our Boss is the best!"

"Chazz it up!"

"Yeah! Chazz it up!"

Chazz rolls his eyes as the chanting and butt kissing starts, and bites the inside of his cheek to keep his expression neutral. He's still mad at them and it'll take more than that to get a smirk out of him.

"We're sorry, Boss," Marron whimpers.

"We'll leave it to you," Catnipped Kitty meows. "You can even put me next to this mutt. I don't mind."

"Good answer," Chazz says simply, and turns back to the album. "All of you go away now. I'll put the cards in on my own. And there better not be a word of criticism afterwards."

"There won't be," the spirits promise as they disappear, leaving Chazz to let out a long sigh of relief.

As soon as they're gone though, the Ojama brothers pop up.

"That's showin 'em, Boss!" Ojama Yellow cheers.

"Those knuckleheads don't even know how good they have it," Ojama Black says with a click of his tongue.

"So ungrateful," Ojama Green agrees.

"Yeah, yeah and you three are just saints, right?"

" _We_ always show our appreciation," Ojama Yellow scoots over to Chazz's face and is immediately swatted away.

"So? Where can we reserve our seats in the album?" Ojama Green asks, eye shining.

Chazz frowns.

"What seats? You three aren't going into the album. You're in my deck!"

"But, but we want a place in the album too!" Ojama Yellow says. "Just to point at and say "this is our spot"!"

"It's the principle of the thing," Ojama Black insists.

"Yeah!" Ojama Green agrees.

Chazz feels another headache coming on.

"Fine, you can have the very last slots on the very last page."

"EH? But—

" _Alternatively_ ," Chazz cuts him off, "there is plenty of room in the _shoebox_."

They quiet down.

"Aww, you're no fun Boss," Ojama Yellow pouts after a moment.

"I know. Now go away and let me finish this."

They grumble a bit, but ultimately leave, and Chazz basks in the elusive silence. When he's sure no more spirits will be coming out to bother him, he picks up his notepad. It would be easy to stuff them all into the binder in whatever order and call it a night, but Chazz doesn't like easy.

"Okay, so Chaos Necromancer wants to be on the front side…"

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm not dead! I'm sorry for the long delay between chapters, but I haven't abandoned this series and I really want to see how far I can take it. Things aren't really great for me right now, but these little fics are really fun to write, and I hope to make as many of my ideas materialize as possible!

I hope you liked this story! In my original outline, I actually wanted to put this one later on, but I wrote, I liked it, and I hope it brought a smile or chuckle as you read it :)

(I probably do need to characterize some of the individual spirits better though)


	5. I'm a duelist, not a Card Whisperer!

**I'm a Duelist, Not a Card Whisperer!**

 _Duel Spirits are the latest craze at the Academy and everyone is determined to get their decks read. Chazz is not amused._

* * *

It's after the third case that Atticus sets up a sign for him.

"Chazz Princeton: Card Whisperer" it reads in a showy cursive font, and in smaller letters underneath, "Spirit readings done here."

Chazz rips it off his door as soon as he lays eyes on it, but it's too late as there are posters all over the Academy and even without them, he is already a target.

It's a stupid fad, he thinks, one that will die off soon, but until it does, he just needs to keep a low profile. Cutting class for a few days shouldn't hurt him, and Dorothy is already a satisfied customer (so to speak) so he could probably convince her to sneak him his meals during this sabbatical.

Or he can dream anyway, because the fact of the matter is that Atticus is not letting him get away that easily, as present by his sitting on Chazz's bed and waving giddily at him as he walks in.

Funny. He knows he locked the door this morning.

"There you are," Atticus says with his usual grin.

"Atticus," Chazz sighs, and holds up the crumpled paper in his hand. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Oh no why'd you take it down? It's your sign. You know, for the card readings."

"I already said I'm not doing that."

"Don't say that Chazz. You'll break a lot of hearts with that attitude."

"Good." His bed is taken over, so Chazz plops down on the couch with his arms crossed. He doesn't want to argue with Atticus, not after everything the upperclassman has done for him up to this point, but he is not about to sell himself out for something so stupid.

Chazz isn't one to keep up with fads too closely, but it's hard to ignore the latest trend hypnotizing the minds of impressionable young women (and some men) when they're all but stalking him to examine their decks and read their cards. He doesn't know why, he doesn't care why, but they're all enamored with the idea of a duel spirit living in their deck and want to know what that special card is.

It's romantic, it's dreamy, and if Chazz were a girl or _not_ saddled with the world's most annoying duel spirits, he might have taken interest too. But Chazz is not a girl and he is the reluctant owner of a whole album of irritants, and there is nothing romantic or dreamy about it. Especially not when he also somehow built up some sort of dubious reputation as a Card Whisperer.

"Eh you know, people notice things, people talk, and apparently you're the big man on campus for all things duel spirits. I think Card Whisperer is a good title for you. Or maybe Spirit Whisperer?"

"I like Spirit Ambassador," Ojama Yellow pipes up. "It sounds more important!"

"You shut up," Chazz snaps and swats him away, an exchange that doesn't go unnoticed by Atticus whose grin only grows.

"So come on, Chazz, you can't go disappointing the ladies now. They're counting on you."

"Okay, first of all, I'm not the only one in this school who can see those things. Go bother Jaden if you need a Card Ambassador or whatever that badly. And second of all, I don't care about "the ladies". There's only room for one lady in my heart, and last I checked, she's not into these stupid fads."

In hindsight, he walked into that one.

"Oh?" Atticus raises a curious brow. "You've talked to her already?"

"Well, no, but—

"Then how do you know she's not interested, Chazz?" Atticus asks. "Lexi may act all tough and serious, but she's a lot more into this stuff than you'd think. I'm her big bro, I know these things."

"Really?" Chazz is skeptical. He doesn't doubt that Atticus knows his sister best, but in his experience, Atticus sometimes seems to have trouble telling the real Alexis apart from his own idealized image of her.

"You don't think she'd want to know what sort of Prince Charming hides in her deck?"

"Um, her deck is all female monsters."

"Princess Charming, then."

"Duel Spirits aren't always the tall, dark and handsome type, you know," Chazz tells him. His spirits are hideous and Jaden's is a flying furball. Not everyone can get lucky like Atticus and have a cool-looking Panther Warrior standing behind them. But he can't help but feel a little curious now, and if Alexis really is interested, he absolutely wouldn't mind looking through her deck.

"Knowing Lex, it's probably her Cyber Blader," Atticus muses. "Oh but she does have a particular fondness for Swing of Memories. But a spell card probably can't have a duel spirit."

Chazz has had ethics debates with a Change of Heart that would say otherwise, but he just shrugs.

"But we shall just have to see won't we." Atticus jumps off the bed and heads for the door. "So, know where I can find Jaden at this time?"

"Jaden? Why do you need him?"

"Well you said you weren't going to do it. So I guess I'll have to ask Jaden to read Alexis' deck instead."

"I never said I wouldn't do it!" Chazz jumps up.

"Uh, Boss? You did. Repeatedly," Ojama Yellow reminds him, but Chazz swats him away again.

"Jaden's duel spirit sense…thing is nothing compared to mine! No one but the Chazz can look into a deck's heart and find the fated card within! Just leave everything me!"

It's only after he's done saying that that he realizes Atticus' goofy grin looks more like a sinister smirk.

"That's the spirit, Chazzy! Come with me, I've got the perfect booth set up for you."

Panther Warrior shakes his head in resignation. Ojama Yellow giggles and places a comforting hand on Chazz's shoulder.

* * *

When Atticus had mentioned all of the girls buying into this fad, apparently he'd actually meant _all_ of the girls. And also a bunch of guys. A surprising number of Obelisk Blues even.

The "booth" is just a borrowed classroom with another obnoxious sign hanging off the teacher's desk, where Chazz takes his place to see a packed room with a more impressive attendance than on finals week. Atticus sits beside him, bouncing on the chair enthusiastically.

Chazz had done a couple of readings by this point. One for Dorothy, and two more for a couple of girls who'd asked before he realized what was happening. And in those three readings he'd been able to assess how stupid this whole thing was because _duel spirits did not work that way_.

Obviously everyone in the room now had no spiritual sense or they'd have known if there was one in their deck, even if they could only occasionally sense its presence. However, everyone seemed to believe that every deck _had_ to have a duel spirit in it, never mind that Chazz hadn't met his until his trip to North Academy, and even Jaden had once said that he'd gotten his the day of the entrance exams.

Some of the decks he looks through do have spirits. But most of them don't and it's extremely difficult to convince his classmates of that. Even more annoying though are Atticus' sidelong glares and swift kicks under the table any time Chazz tries to break that bit of news to a girl.

He doesn't care about the guys though.

"Can't you just, I don't know, make it up?" Atticus whispers. "If they can't see it anyway, why not just pick their strongest or their cutest monster to make them happy?"

"So you basically want me to lie," Chazz retorts.

"Not lie. Just not let them down," he insists. "I have to admit though, I'm really getting jealous of all this attention you're getting. I wish I could see duel spirits."

"Trust me, you don't." Between readings, Chazz has to deal with the Ojamas commentating and laughing on the side and any actual discovered duel spirits seizing the chance to tell Chazz their life stories and air out any grievances they have about their owners. It'd have made good blackmail material if Chazz had a pen and notepad to jot these things down.

It's also a pity that Panther Warrior remains silent, because Chazz would have liked to know some of Atticus' deep dark secrets for the next time his future brother-in-law tried to drag him into something like this. He's not enjoying the attention no matter how much the girls fawn over him and his "talent", and wants an escape route already.

And then Alexis shows up.

"Lexi!" Atticus calls her over immediately as she takes in the line leading up to Chazz.

"Uh, what's going on here?" She asks, and looks at the sign. "Card Whisperer? Spirit readings?" What gives?"

"Exactly what it looks like Lex," Atticus explains. "Surely you've heard. Duel spirits are in!"

"Er, yeah, I think Jasmine and Mindy mentioned something about that. So you're doing…what exactly?"

"The Chazz is looking into people's decks and uniting them with their fated partners." Chazz jumps from his seat to explain. "And I would be more than honored to look through your cards and let you know who your special monster is! Right now! For free!"

"You're _charging_ people for this?" Alexis immediately turns to Atticus in disapproval.

"Meal coupons," Atticus explains hastily. "And only the guys."

"So what do you say, Alexis?"

The guys in the front of the line look as if they're about to protest, but stop because it's Alexis Rhodes, and they're just as curious about her duel spirit as Chazz and Atticus are.

"Yeah, no thanks," Alexis replies without a missing a beat.

"Huh?" Chazz's jaw drops.

"If there is a duel spirit in my deck, I'd rather meet them on my own," she says with a shrug. "I'm not doubting your abilities, Chazz. I know how strong your bond with the Ojamas is. But I put my heart into my cards so they're all special to me, duel spirit or not. Sorry, but I'm not really into these kinds of things. I'm going back to the dorm. Good luck, I guess."

She starts to walk away and Chazz hangs his head. Atticus moves to place a comforting hand on his back, but at that moment The Chazz revives and points to the ceiling.

"That's exactly right!" he declares. "Those are my thoughts exactly, Alexis. This whole thing is stupid and by next week none of you losers are even going to care about any of this. So I say, screw it! I'm out of here. I'm a duelist, not a Card/Spirit Ambassador/Whisperer/Whatever anyway." He tears off the sign and pushes his way past Alexis and the baffled crowd, the Ojama brothers trailing behind him and shouting his "Chazz it up!" catchphrase enthusiastically.

At the desk, Atticus meets his sister's critical look and smiles sheepishly, knowing he is in for a Talk. Behind him, Panther Warrior shakes his head.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading!

I never realized how much I love writing Chazz & Atticus interaction


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